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A Paragliding Dictionary

Annoying stunts by (other) pilots in front of the launch site

Alpine Blanch
Anxiety resulting from not having done a forward launch in ages

Alpine Lunch
Mouth full of grass, a.k.a. 'Face Plant' - result of aforesaid anxiety

Shape shifting cloud layer

Aspect Horatio
Someone who gets overly dramatic about how skinny his glider is

Wing collapse demonstrating level of pilot obtuseness, e.g. 40% ass-metric. :-P

Unintentional spin, inducing nausea

Bridge Soaring
More challenging version of soaring, especially difficult due to absence of dynamic lift and likelihood of imprisonment by authorities

Graffiti left by Cara

Serious cravatte

Attractive, well developed cloud

Defective flying instrument

Fink Warning Tone
Audio indication to let you know there are a**hole pilots nearby

Free Riser Design
Marketing innovation whereby you only pay for the cloth and lines

Glib Ratio
Marketing savvy divided by measured performance

Grim Speed
Full bar on a hot wing

Guest Front
Arrival of unexpected visitors, making flying difficult

Landing Flair
Elegant landing

Lee side
Universally acknowledged as unsafe area for PG pilots. Keep a safe distance and call the authorities if you see him

Maximum Peed
Practice of emptying bladder before launch to ensure a comfortable flight

Minimum Think Rate
Threshold qualification for a career in aviation

Misty Flap
Collapse at cloudbase

Water commode reserved for ultimate PG pissing contest

Dead Vario battery

Pull Face Helmet
Helmet that is too small for pilot's head

Carabiner that pinches your fingers

Raminar Wind
Strong coastal conditions

Pilot (f.) with attractive figure

Speed to Fry
Re-entry into atmosphere after a high altitude flight

Spiral Hives
Allergic reaction to high-g maneouvres

Spit Landing
Impalement on pointy terrain object, usually the result of attempting a spot landing

Tale Wind
Post-flight exaggeration of the wind conditions

Tandim Pilot
Bronzed, not so bright flyer

Answer to question "Where mal?"

Theremal Underwhere
Frustrated response to above answer

Wind Mummy
Pilot dressed for chilly weather

Flight aligned to X coordinate axis, intended to maximize distance from origin

Not in use, coordinate axes can be rotated to align flight to X axis, resulting in XC

Flight aligned to Z coordinate axis, intermittently used to maximize XC. Cannot be rotated to X axis as this results in extreme disorientation and nausea

Precision maneouvre resulting in rotation anywhere from 180 to 720 degrees depending on enthusiasm, skill and glider agility